How I want to go to this...

"Visionary Practice
June 13-15, 2008
Location: The Ojai Foundation
9739 Ojai-Santa Paula Rd., Ojai, CA
Facilitators: Erik Davis, Dale Pendell, David Presti and Laura Pendell
Cost: $435, includes lodging and catered meals
12 CEU credits (optional) - additional $50 processing fee

Traditional spiritual disciplines usually involve a daily practice. Shamanic and visionary traditions often involve "extraordinary" practice. Both approaches use ritual to shape and contain deep changes in consciousness. In this weekend workshop, we will explore both traditional rites of practice and celebration, as well as contemporary improvisations. What does ritual have to do with theater, or belief, or the structure of the mind? How do we receive rituals from tradition, and how do we create and perform our own?

Formal and informal group discussions will ber supplemented by optional hands-on workshops in ritual artisanship such as mask-making. On Saturday evening we will assemble as a council of spirits and create our own spontaneous ritual to "Call Back the Condors" using words, songs, chants, dance, gesture-a gift from the heart to the great birds who eat death and are the endangered native inhabitants of the sanctuary lands just above Ojai. Register "

Helvetica

Companies that use Helvetica font.

3M (Post-it notes, Scotch tape)
American Airlines
American Apparel
AT&T
Energizer batteries
Greyhound Lines
Jeep
Lufthansa
Microsoft
National Car Rental
Panasonic
Target Corporation
Apple - Mac OS X (sometimes) and iPhone and newer iPods
New York City's Metropolitan Transit Authority
Canada (the country)

NB. I've changed all the fonts in the blog not to Helvetica, but to Arial, which is indistinguishable to non-specialists according to Wikipedia.

Also, music.
Jesu @ myspace-"Conqueror" &
Battles @ myspace-"Atlas"

youtube fun

i just made a fucking awesome playlist on youtube, of 1992-93 breakbeat 'ardkore, 1993-94 darkcore, and 1994 jungle.


"push! push!! i'm ready! i think i'm gonna
OVERDOSE"

linkage: http://youtube.com/my_playlists?p=7178647AAAD25460&page=1

given the content of the last post,

i thought an image of some beatniks was in order...

fundamentalists and new agers (that includes you, green gulch) alike,

you're not going to like this

the existentialists were basically correct.

there is no point to life.

existence itself is a cancer.

a cancer is a living thing, a growing thing. like a plant. or a baby. a baby is a cancer. so is fruit.

so are mushrooms, and primo herb (ditchweed is less so).

but i digress.

i am a pessimist. i am not unhappy. but life is meaningless. i am not depressed.

not at all.

don't project onto me, please.

we have a lot to learn still from soviet russia. we are doomed to repeat its mistakes.

better to learn now as much as we can about stalinism.

...

modern ideas that only seem anticapitalist, by slavoj zizek:
Stalinism
Western Buddhism
Antiglobalization
Radical human-rights liberalism
Positivist psychology
Ecological food

~

zizek has been really opening up my head for the last, oh, 24 hours or so. the above is from an article in The Believer. it's called Google. use it.

also interesting is zizek in The London Review of Books, particularly this great article on "liberal communists" (so-called).

i read a piece of his on Childen of Men (wonderful film, most "now" film I've seen since Blade Runner, except a lot more "now" of course; continuing the William Gibson-directed trend [also seen in China Mieville -- note to self read one of his books!] of science fiction simply becoming, the only real, contemporary fiction), and saw him talking about it on YouTube, I highly recommend both but forgot to bookmark the links so you'll have to find them yourselves.

zizek is probably the Philosopher of the NOW.

maybe want go back to india?

maybe DO want.

maybe want to go with a girl - not one in particular, just some skinny tall tanned designer wearing vacant blonde thing that i will tell the old and naive we're married. hey don't take any offense, vacancy is a deep spiritual quality in the east...

i want go to fly in to Delhi, then fly to Jasailmer, and hang out there for er about two weeks. say in early or mid April. when the tourists have cleared out.

stay in the fort, in some old ass building. listen to music on the rooftop, look at children and old people doing their daily errands, wander through the dirty medieval streets and look at the strange urban flora and fauna in the marketplace. buy beautiful things, after bartering and many cups of chai. which we will drink all the time, for hours at a time, under the sun or in a cafe that has cricket on the telly.

no alcohol - why? go to the bhang shop, maybe. maybe hashish for nights, maybe opium. maybe just cookies. but definitely take some on the well-researched five day or so camel trip into the desert.

that will be the centerpiece of the trip. the rest of the time is chilling, getting to know the environs, meeting the (possibly stranger than the indians) europeans

now i just need err let's see -- $1000, $1500 tops -- and a woman. i want to fly in through new york. well looks like it would be better to have about $2000 on hand. just in case. no sweat, though. no need for shots, no need for anything but a toothbrush and the clothes on your back and i'm not even kidding. you can buy higher quality stuff than you can get in the u.s. and for lower prices than you can get here as well. and you can buy anything -- everything -- everywhere. the whole damn country's one giant marketplace.

more: i will smoke a considerable amount of flavored tobacco and hashish and eat watermelon and rice curd. that's all i will need -- it's not like i'll be doing anything, after all. this is the proper indian way. and i will not walk anywhere -- i will travel everywhere by cycle-rickshaw, peering out at the less fortunate with my compassionate face. i will save bhang cookies or (even better) edible majoon for the camel safari, at nighttime.

mother india here i come, but with a companion (er, wife) this time! just please God pick one out for me...

oh, and i will bring a wallet, too. doy. with my friendly ATM card and ID. and of course my passport, as well. so that probably means a backpack, too. Western dress is fine. ok, and we can't fly into Jaisalmer, we have to take the train from Delhi. that IS a big deal. here's the plan: get out of the airport. get in a taxi, ask to go the train station -- or, better, a hotel in Old Delhi that you have reservations at in advance. if possible, if not, just go to the train station -- you don't want to get trapped in Paharganj, for you will never leave. 1. Amber 011/2396 5081, 2. New City Palace (see Rg website for number, they didnt let me stay there when i walked in though), 3. Broadway, 4. Oberoi Maidens. Stay for 24 hours. They'll probably send you a taxi to pick you up, if not 6477 Katra Bariyan is the address to write down in your journal (need that too, in backpack) to show to the cab driver, even though he can't read your handwriting. print it out, actually.

ok, and then the train station: umm i guess go to the New Delhi station. this site will save your bloody life, remember it (http://www.indianrail.gov.in/ write it down in fact -- trains, and ITA software.net for planes -- find the one you want and book through the airline's website). Trains between important stations is the option to choose - there's a New Delhi to Jasailmer express. Go directly to the tourist office on the second floor of the train station, do not talk to any single person outside of the office. they are fleas, ignore them. reserve a sleeper ticket in advance on the internet if you can, i don't know because i've never tried it, but i had unreserved tickets when i tried to go to jasailmer and my shit got jacked because i left it in one seat and then went to sleep in the other. dumbass. well, you'll probably be ok if you don't do that. don't leave your stuff, nobody will mess with you or anything, they will take advantage of stupidity. anyway, don't bother calling the train station in advance or anything. but wait -- DO get 2nd class sleeper tickets. so, i guess reserve online before you leave home. you'll want to sleep like that. ok now i remember what you do -- when you first get in to town, go to the station, and get your tickets -- before going to your hotel. that way no stress, no mess when it's time to leave! and do that everytime you roll into a city, get your outward bound tickets right away. wait NO get a sleeper ticket -- it's fine. just make sure that you DO get a ticket, and don't go unreserved, which will damage your health far more than it could possibly help you in any way. ugh.

also acquire a bed roll, somehow. i think you get it with your tickets, or else on the train itself. no big deal. wait they only have these on the 2nd class A/C. i guess that IS the way to go, then? i can't remember. but it certainly seems like it. fuck it i prefer the sleeper!

moving on...trains are fun, there is lots of food and people to talk to and share chewing tobacco with. jesus christ, i fucking love it!

oh god i want to go back. ok and in jasailmer now -- Jasail Castle number one or Suraj number two.

other options include Simla or Killa Bawahn. See the rg's -- all are inside the fort.
ALWAYS call in advance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course there is, as always, never any need to look for a place to see or eat, except to get your bearings. for that i once again recommend the RG's.

Pretty much all foods are a nighttime thing, except watermelon which is during the day. You have to drink chai of course, after waking up and with all meals and anytime, really. Biscuits go well with it. OH JESUS CHRIST I MiSS ... nevermind.

now, if you want to move up from tea and biscuits, you can have also have bananas, sugar, and curd. for lunch. if you want to eat something else, then it's thali time, and you should get rice, dal, endless roti, and veg.

Just Once, I Would Like To Try Mughlai Food, Too. Before Leaving, Perhaps. At Trio.

also, you must have a hot glass of milk before bedtime, you simply must. with your rice curd. watermelon is what you eat (spiced of course) when you're walking around outside and you're hot. fuck water, man, who needs it?

bathing is unnecessary...i recommend bringing cheap Western clothes that you don't care about getting all shitty, cause your clothes are gonna get really shitty looking. fast.

that about covers it. of course you don't actually HAVE to have tea or biscuits, or even banana curd with sugar. those are just the basics. OH AND I FORGOT SWEETS! ANOTHER NECESSARY ADDITION TO THE DIET, THOUGH OF COURSE NOT ESSENTIAL, IS THE GOOD MILKSWEET, YUM, HAVE IT AFTER LUNCH, WHETHER OR NOT YOU EAT A REAL LUNCH OR JUST BANANA CURD!!! normal Indians who work on a daily basis will have chai and a savory (such as chana puri, mmm, greasy...) at 6 am, then at 2pm they have their thali lunch, the 40R option, with cheese and yogurt. and chai. 5pm is time for a sweet, such as ummm gosh Gulab Jamun...mmm syrupy

9pm, if they eat dinner at all, comes around with the 20R thali, just rice, veg, and dal. and chai.

it's more important to eat the basic Indian diet; however, if you do get the chance to eat Mughlai, and you should.

get good opium, and good hashish, and good bhang cookies (half of one before bedtime will cure what ails you), and good paan from the marketplace, if and when you must. do not drink alcohol or eat meat, except at the Mughlai restaurant (fukken kebabs mang). do not EVER buy ANYTHING from ANYBODY who EVER is trying to sell you something in English -- you pick who YOU want to buy something from, and you DO IT. you're not a helpless little lamb, you can do what you want. bhang and opium should be bought only at the government store, ideally, but certainly NEVER oh GOD never from people you met on the street! if you can get it where the locals get it (you can't), good. paan is legal, though, as are bidis. why would you want to smoke that shit? for that matter, why would you want to eat any of this crappy Indian food? you wouldn't, but you must give it a try all the same. when you get invited into someone's home, then you're friends with them -- and then you can get the good sweets, bhang, opium, hashish off the street... curd, bananas, milk, chai, biscuits, sugar are all pretty standard so no sweat there! that's a diet you can live on, in india at least. the place to go to try the thalis and breakfast food and shit is Vyas Meals (see rg). at least once, that is.

RG is telling us to go get hot badam (milk flavored with almonds and cardamom) in the bazaar at night, after eating at the lil pao bhaji stall opposite the bhang lassi wallah in the evening. if you can find it (you can't), that should be a few days in to your stay, or not it really doesn't matter at all.

don't get shots, don't take medications. pussy. drink the water, though, and you're , i ain't gonna lie. not that i enjoy bottled water or anything, and ideally you shouldn't do both, but drink the water and you're fucked, straight up.

wear jeans, t-shirts and flip flops. Bookstores, internet cafes, and ATM machines will all figure a great deal in your daily life.

Ideally you should spend also at least a week in Udaipur, but the damn place is way down in the south...i'm too tired to figure it out right now. you do it. you'd have to take a bus i think. fuck. i hate buses! i dont know, man. fucking rough guides, i dont have to do what they tell me, so.

at any rate, go there after Jasailmer, not before. 10 days in Jasailmer ish and the fucking remainder in Old Delhi, is what I say mang. The Old Delhi is worth exploring for sure, and you're supposed to see Agra too so maybe you can fit that in and spend the day at the Taj watching the sun go down. that would be a good last-day thing.

if you want to go to Pushkar on your way to Jasailmer, I guess you can, though why you would want to is beyond me. it's only a full day's trip from Delhi to Jasailmer. i guess it might make sense to stop somewhere rather than trying to travel all the way through, but that is a whole can of worms, you know? fuck pushkar, i don't want.

other things to keep with are airline tickets (return) and also get the visa. imprtnat. Denver to Chicago to Delhi awright. $2000 in toto (per person of course). that's frankly worth the cost to fly from Denver -- an extra $200 than from New York. see rg when it comes to the camel treks.

you can stay up to but no longer than two months in india, and a good thing to do would be to get another extra 500-1000 and spend the time in varanasi and calcutta. (two weeks respectively). the hotels are the Salvation Army in calcutta and the one place in varanasi.

if you want to party, go to Mumbai and Goa. please don't. but if you must -- it isn't a bad idea. Vagator? i can't remember... it does seem pretty fun and countercultural, though. i recommend it. more than jasailmer and varanasi and calcutta. goa would be fun. that is what we should do doy. 1. goa 2. ladakh 3. jasailmer 4. varanasi and calcutta (as an adjunct to jasailmer). no ladakh, actually, i prefer delhi. though it would be possible and nice to do both, i would prefer jasailmer. i think... yeh of course. the sind. pakistan but not. goa == patnem beach. far far better i think is mexico - zihua. yes this is the truth. it is mexico time babe.

this beach stuff is actually honeymoon material so first i would do the north of india...

but mexico: i know where i'm gonna go -- huatla. you need the people's guide to mexico or at least a map and you will get there by hook or by crook. next destination:




actually, the best trip of all -- of all -- of all -- is fucking ladakh man. skip india altogether, go straight to the silk road. you know this is the best man. the romance will be incredible. incredible. it's not really india, but.

what is? that is a good goddamn question. but it isn't because none of the rules given above apply so. go to ladakh i forget when in the summer perhaps. god i love india and want to go back so bad. so bad. mother india!

my presidential candidates

1. Paul
2. Kucinich
3. Gravel
4. Biden
5. Edwards
6. Clinton
7. Dodd
8. Cox
9. McCain
10. Tancredo
11. Hunter
12. Romney
13. Richardson
14. Thompson
15. Obama
16. Brownback

my favorite colleges (for my kids) and seminaries (for me)

College & Universities
1. Columbia University
2. Hobart and William Smith Colleges
3. Bard College
4. Kenyon College

Seminaries
1. Nashotah House
2. General Theological Seminary
3. Seabury-Western Theological Seminary
4. Bexley Hall

NB: I don't have kids.

maybe i am a hipster

i was reading this article by Robert Lanham, author of The Hipster Handbook, on hipster parents,

and let's see ... i like wes anderson, i like k records (fact: i stalked their building when i lived in oly, hoping to catch a glimpse of calvin johnson; it was an old wooden jewish temple and occasionally let transients live on their lawn), i agree with this statement: "Shrek is an apt metaphor for the ugly, bloated, corporate troll that America has become," and i like to read New York magazine...i do.

so what if i'm profoundly conservative? our generation doesn't care about a person's politics; that's personal, not political. obsessive leftiness and or neoconniness is a distinctive (ugh) Gen-X trait (check out today's Taki's Top Drawer for an article on the "9/11 generation").

right now i'm watching Midnight Express and reflecting on my love for the Muslim world. i miss (from India) the constant smoking of cigarettes and the overall feel of antiquity.

more to come on my experiences in India, hopefully, someday. it wasn't too big of a deal, but it was pretty different and weird.

OK, so i think probably hipsters can accomodate paleoconservatism. it's still covert at this point, but the two groups certainly share an appreciation of good taste above all else.

we just need to purge those disgustingly tired Gen-X tropes like post-feminism and its accompanying alternaporn like Suicide Girls. and some other gay stuff, like post-hardcore. stuff that belongs in the '90s. raves, ecstasy, Burning Man, San Francisco, internet 1.0, neoliberalism, PC, neo-metal, Silver Lake (heh), 1950s aesthetics, "grrl" anything...but most of this stuff is out anyway

new thoughts..

none of which are necessary to put down here, as this is not a thesis statement but a
work in progress. the interesting thing about reading a blog is not the end intellectual
product but the making of it, the glints and glimmers of a mind at work and the poetry
it may occasionally throw out.

i think i may as well be episcopalian...there is a church quite close to my house, about 4 min away.

umm...i think tobacco may be a good alternative to exercise. that goes for coffee and stimulants in
general.

it makes the heart beat faster, and in general gives you the experience of hard exercise.
i am not a doctor, but i think the attraction to stimulants like coffee in office environments
makes sense.

so, if you're not walking anywhere or riding your bike today (which you should do if you live in
Blue America), chew some tobacco! it's 90% healthier than smoking, and has not been
conclusively shown to cause cancer. Copenhagen is trad; Skoal Bandits are for those who
can't stomach the straight stuff, and it's a little healthier too.

oh, and my bike is down so i've been walking the 4 miles every day. good stuff.

Clipse is a good rap group, and Vampire Weekend is a good rock band.

Lyrics:
Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
I climbed to Dharamsala too
I did
I met the highest lama
His accent sounded fine
to me, to me

and:
As a young girl
Louis Vuitton
With your mother
On a sandy lawn

As a sophomore
With reggaeton
And the linens
You're sitting on

Is your bed made?
Is your sweater on?
Do you want to
Like you know I do

But this feels so unnatural
Peter Gabriel too

Can you stay up
To see the dawn
In the colors
Of Bennetton?

Is your bed made
Is your sweater on
Do you want to
Like you know I do

But this feels so unnatural
Peter Gabriel too

Is your bed made
Is your sweater on
Do you want to (i think he says "fuck" here)
Like you know I do

Well...for the third time I took Quizfarm.com's theological quiz, and for the third time I scored as a Roman Catholic above all else. Not surprising.

I was more Calvinist and less Wesleyan this time, though, I wonder why.

Well. I've been thinking, and I have a theory. Short of Catholicism, the closest you can get to traditional teachings is Calvinism, despite Calvinism's tendency to be associated with a lack of traditional liturgy. But then, this isn't surprising, either. Think of the Irish church, and think of the Celtic church. The Celts were converted before the Germans (and Anglo-Saxons), and Christianity is more deeply rooted in their culture. Rome purposefully and for political reasons (it was a growing power) converted the Anglo-Saxons later on. This is the basis for the linkage of Anglicanism and the Church, and also why Anglicanism departed from the Church's teachings wherever and whenever it was expedient to do so. Germans have never cared too much for traditional teachings. They are barbarians, after all.

Following the disestablishment of the Roman church, it perhaps seems natural that the more Celtic elements of the population would turn to Calvinism, and, less so, Arminanism, in a hope of preserving their culture. Unitarianism in this scenario is the most Germanic, or liberal, of all teachings.

In the United States, many early Irishmen gave up their Catholic church because it simply wasn't established here; they fell rather naturally into the Baptist groups, for the most part.

Now, it isn't surprising that Baptists would tend to forget the more technical aspects of church ceremony, they are after all from the Celtic areas of the church. Isolated. But they do retain the solemnity and dignity of the true church, and also a love of richness that doesn't extend to the more liberal denominations.

My culture, Southern California, is a hybrid of Spanish-Roman Catholic, Celtic Baptist, and English Methodist. The latter in particular is my little world. I vow to stay in the United Methodist Church, but I also have an inherited fraternity with the other two churches. I also have an individual inclination towards Anglo-Catholicism within the Methodist church. I defend this theologically by saying that Catholicism is in fact more conservative than even the conservative Protestants, and I make a case for Arminianism < Calvinism < Catholicism accordingly. Make any sense?

Read the wikipedia article on Anglo-Catholicism. An excerpt: "Thus today there are two strands of Anglo-Catholicism. The classical type seeks to maintain tradition and to keep doctrine in line with that of the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches, and often allies with low-church evangelicals to defend traditional teachings on sexual morality."

I second that...And say that I find these people and institutions to be worth looking up to: Maryland/Mid-Atlantic Catholicism including New York's Anglo-Catholic Resurrection Church (well, excepting the liberal bent of a lot of East Coast Catholics, I should say most?); Anglo-Catholics on the Gulf Coast; and the traditional Anglo-Catholic parishes in England, such as in York or Shoreditch in London.

bear with me...

ok. so i've been thinking, whether i want to be:
- an anarchist / theological liberal or unitarian-leaning, or someone motivated by their lifestyle to turn it into a religion (in other words, the traditional Germanic pagan viewpoint) or
- a paleoconservative / theological paleo or catholic/calvinist-leaning, or someone motivated by their religion to turn it into a lifestyle...

well. hmm...i want to stay a Methodist, that's all i'm sure of. aside from that, even my political leanings are in doubt, in fact that's what i feel so open-ended about (should i be an Anarchist or a Paleo?). tough question, but since i'm sure about my religion, i think i'll stick with it. anarchists aren't particularly religious, even though some may belong to some of the more outre groups. but a true anarchist wouldn't be caught dead at church on Sunday, now would he? (or perhaps i should say she.)

so, if the one thing in my life that i'm sure about is my religion, where do i go from there? do i lean conservative, or liberal?

it might help to see how this whole mess started:
1. raised atheist
2. converted early on to libertarianism (politically) and philosophical taoism
3. wanted to become episcopalian for the social status (politically neoliberal, i.e. The New Republic)
4. drawn to a more traditional expression of philosophical taoism, i.e., Zen Buddhism
5. followed Buddhism to Hinduism and eventually Islam
6. came back around to Christianity, and (paleo)libertarianism. moved swiftly from Catholic, to Baptist, to Methodist.

well, yes, it's clear to me intuitively, though it may not be to you. in order to come full circle i need to be uncompromisingly conservative theologically and of course politically. i am in search of my roots, i am conservative therefore. politics is, what, epistemologically different from religion?

well, it seems good for now. let's leave it at that.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, I've been reading some books about my heritage -- David Hackett Fischer's Albion's Seed and the fascinating Kevin Philips book The Cousins Wars.

I've come to the conclusion that my heritage is, well, mostly Quaker/Midland North/Methodist. (Not surprising, given that both my dad's father and my mother's parents are Methodists.)

But I am a Southern Methodist, mind you. Still a member of the United Methodist Church, in the future, but one from Southern California.

On this subject, a passage from The Cousins Wars on California's North/South division. Where it's at:

A brief digression is in order to note that the last two "border" states of 1860 were western: California and Oregon, both of which Lincoln carried by only hairbreadth pluralities, with a sizeable minority of voters opting for the southern Democratic nominee, John Breckinridge (28 percent in California, 34 percent in Oregon). On the eve of war, the western states and territories, like those in the Ohio Valley, were places where large southern and northern populations mingled.

In California, San Francisco and the north coast were Union-dominated, and along with other local units even forming a "California battalion" to serve in the 2nd Massachusetts Cavalry. In late 1860 and early 1861, however, some neutral observers had expected California to support the Confederacy or opt for the independent Pacific Confederacy so many local Democratic office-holders were talking about. Of the state's 380,000 people, almost 40 percent were from slave states, and only seven of fifty-three newspapers had supported Lincoln. Confederate flags were flown in San Jose, Visalia, Stockton, and a number of mining towns, and pro-southern sentiment was so strong in Los Angeles and San Bernardino that northern California infantry and cavalry units had to be moved into the area to guard against any Confederate force coming from Texas and New Mexico (Tucson, for example, sent a delegate to the Confederate Congress). Tennessee-born U.S. Senator William Gwin left California for the Confederacy in early 1861. Unionist sentiment grew after South Carolina fired on Fort Sumter, and Copperhead activity slackened after the Confederate invasion of New Mexico was turned back at Glorieta Pass in March 1862.

Also, I should say that the final clincher is that the local Methodist church is much closer than the local Baptist church. Can't argue with that!

My grandfather on my dad's side is a preacher at his tiny and ancient white wooden steeplehouse Methodist Episcopal church in the old mining camp town of the Sierra Nevada that he lives in (in a giant wooden cabin, filled with roaring flames in the winter and hot coffee and freshly baked pies all the time -- we used to go there nearly every Thanksgiving; hopefully this year we'll go for Christmas). Once I asked him why he wasn't, say, a Unitarian -- he laughed, and said "Well, we have to believe in something!" (Methodists are Arminian, both liturgically and theologically moderate. They, surprisingly and commendably, do not recognize same-sex unions. They are ambivalent towards alcohol, which I like. I'm not sure how they feel about abortion; I wouldn't be surprised, however, if they were also ambivalent about that.)

Marilynne Robinson

This novelist, author of Gilead, has the only book at the Fort Collins library listed under "Calvinism in the United States."

So, I looked it up, and it's called The Death of Adam, and after further investigation on the internet, I have decided to check it out.

Here's a quote from the book (as found in the New York Times Book Review): "The modern fable is that science exposed religion as a delusion and more or less supplanted it. But science cannot serve in the place of religion because it cannot generate an ethics or a morality. It can give us no reason to prefer a child to a dog, or to choose honorable poverty over fraudulent wealth. It can give us no grounds for preferring what is excellent to what is sensationalistic. And this is more or less where we are now.''

Leaving.

Dammit. My aunt has banished me from her office...

I have a laptop but it spends most of its time overheating and making loud whirring noises so it sounds like a bomb about to explode.

I may not have Internet for a while. Weep.

To summarize some of my plans for the future:
- I want to work at the place I'm working at until next summer.
- During the summer I want to take six credits at Front Range Community College.
- During the semesters I want to take four classes at Front Range (starting next year).
- I want to transfer into Colorado State University and take a B.A. in Philosophy (of Religion?).
- I want to go to graduate school at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, and take an M.Div.
- I want to return to Palm Springs, California, and pastor to the Southern Baptist church there. I'll live near Tahquitz Creek.

Americans, read this!

'God's Country'

Wendell Berry on Christianity

'If, because of these discrepancies, Christianity were dismissable, there would, of course, be no problem. We could simply dismiss it, along with the twenty centuries of unsatisfactory history attached to it, and start setting things to rights. The problem emerges only when we ask, Where then would we turn for instruction? We might, let us suppose, turn to another religion--a recourse that is sometimes suggested by the anti-Christian environmentalists. Buddhism, for example, is certainly a religion that could guide us toward a right respect for the natural world, our fellow humans, and our fellow creatures. I have a considerable debt myself to Buddhism and Buddhists. But there is an enormous number of people, and I am one of them, whose native religion, for better or worse, is Christianity. We were born to it; we began to learn about it before we became conscious; it is, whatever we think of it, an intimate belonging of our being; it informs our consciousness, our language, and our dreams. We can turn away from it or against it, but that will only bind us tightly to a reduced version of it. A better possibility is that this, our native religion, should survive and renew itself, so that it may become as largely and truly instructive as we need it to be. On such a survival and renewal of the Christian religion may depend the survival of that Creation which is its subject. '

http://www.crosscurrents.org/berry.htm

2nd post

I'm quite happy to be off of LJ.

I was reading blogs before I ever heard of LiveJournal, so this is a more natural environment for me.

The reason I wanted to post was that I went to a Southern Baptist church today.

Wow, it was so good. The music was so emotional. I think it's true that what the arts in the United States need is an underpinning of religion.

There was no organ; it was a simple rock band. The instruments were played by teenage parishioners.

It was beautiful, sweet like Appalachian honey-dew.

It was truly religious; it probably goes without saying that there was nothing annoying or preachy about it. (The change was probably more in my head than in reality; I was never open to this music before and now I was listening to it with an understanding of the feeling behind it.)

The kids were not attempting to self-consciously create something --

(I just want to say here right now -- there is a possibility, however slight, that I had previously simply ignored this Christian pop-culture parallel world out of an intentional ignorance...)

-- more pure than secular pop music.

I found this religious music so satisfying because it sounded like emo. Really. But it was motivated by less cynical emotions (not to bag on emo, but I think wrist-cutting depression is the reason this subgenre is so Bad and Hated). I find that God is a sufficiently deep and authentic motivation for emo melancholia. Come to think of it, it reminds me of the very traditional music of religious melancholia that is so deep in Eastern tradition.

Western religious music is traditionally more heavenly. But this sweet gritty Baptist emo-country-folk (with electric guitars) was more sweet than Eastern holy music, thus fitting nicely into the Western tradition. But it hit me on a gut-punching visceral level, not unlike mind-damaging Muslim wailing, the heavy metal of religious sounds.

In Hinduism, bhakti is a type of worship about separation from God. How bittersweet it is. On how sometimes it is more beautiful than connection. I disagree, but appreciate the sentiment. And I appreciate a musical understanding of how tough it is to find God, sometimes.

I'm fuckin lazy.